I can't sleep. Things seem to be piling up. Yesterday seemed to take my feet away from me and the fact that the kids experienced the same thing means that I can't just pretend it didn't happen.
Another body blow has been that I haven't received my January pay. As it happens it won't cause us a problem this month but I can't help thinking of some of my colleagues for whom this could be the last straw.
The other factor has been the overwhelming negativity I experienced as a result of my phone calls to staff. I would say 10% were quite happy to hear from me but where I got a response from the rest it centred around guidance from unions and the fact that McCrone (Scottish conditions of service agreement) suggest that they can work from home. They still don't get it - things will never be the same again. There won't even be such a thing as conditions of service!
I had two phone calls to my house which have been quite abusive from colleagues who wanted to let me know how much their calls had offended them.
But above all else I can't get Sandy Robertson out of my head - if I hadn't called he would still be alive. I know some of you think I should stop interfering. The reality is that reality has changed and we need to dramatically come to terms with that - and I include myself in that!
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